Drop 2: The Gazebo Incident
Last week Dr. Helena Voss introduced herself and her life’s work. Work that carefully gathered data on one of the most devastating conditions to ever hit humanity. Half the world’s population suffer from this condition. Often in silence because they can’t hear when someone is talking to them.
This week we go to the origin story. Where she goes into the field for the first time.
The subject is a 58 year old South African male in a garage in Hilo, Hawaii. The gazebo is on the shelf. It has always been on the shelf. It remained there since they unpacked it the first time. This is Part Two of The Caecitas Masculina: A Field Study, written exclusively for this Substack, dropping one chapter at a time.
Dr. Voss has her notebook. She has positioned herself behind the dehumidifier.
The subject has entered the garage…
Chapter Two: The Gazebo Incident (Field Notes, Day One)
Subject: Male, 58, South African by origin, Hawaiian by geography, alledgedly a functioning CMO by profession. Referred to hereafter as Subject H. Names hidden to protect the innocent.
Location: A garage in Hilo, Hawaii. Well lit. Organized by any reasonable standard. Boxes neatly stacked on one side and in rows. Gym equipment against the wall. Tools against another wall. The gazebo in question was stored in its original box, which measured approximately four feet by two feet, and was located on a shelf at standing eye level. Placed there for easy access. On purpose. The box was labeled on three sides. One label included a photograph of the gazebo fully assembled, in case the word GAZEBO required additional context.
Dr. Voss positioned herself behind the dehumidifier with her notebook. She is sitting on one of the camping chairs. The subject won’t notice her any more than he would notice the gazebo.
11:04am. Subject H enters the garage. States intention to find gazebo. Nods his head at himself. Slight smile spread across his face. Confident. Good energy.
11:09am. First circuit of garage complete. Subject has looked at the shelf. Has not seen the gazebo. He looked directly at it but did not see it. Moves items on a lower shelf. The gazebo is not on the lower shelf. It has never been on the lower shelf.
11:17am. Subject H checks behind the lawnmower. Checks inside a storage bin containing pool noodles. Opens a cabinet containing paint tins. Finds a tennis racket he forgot he owned. Spends two minutes examining the tennis racket. Opens a few boxes size two feet by two feet that was never big enough for the gazebo.
11:26am. Subject returns to the shelf. Looks at the gazebo. Looks past the gazebo. Moves a box of Christmas decorations that is next to the gazebo. Moves the gazebo to look behind the gazebo for the gazebo. Does not appear to see the gazebo.
11:34am. Subject exits garage. Returns with his wife. Dr. Voss observes from behind the dehumidifier. Her sister nods at her.
11:34am and 30 seconds. Wife locates gazebo. She has not put down her coffee. She will not put down her coffee at any point during this process. She takes a sip while pointing at the gazebo.
11:34am and 45 seconds. Subject H examines the gazebo box with the expression of a man who has been personally betrayed by an inanimate object.
“It wasn’t there before,” he says.
Dr. Voss writes this down. She underlines it twice. She circles it twice. An hypothesis opens up in her mind the way a well manufactured easy-up gazebo would.
To be continued - Chapter 3 (The Refrigerator Studies) drops next week.